


whole

by asexuelf



Category: Sally Face (Video Games)
Genre: Apologies, Canon Gay Character, Communication, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Queer Themes, Set after episode 3, Todd Morrison is A Good Friend, Trans Male Character, Trans Todd Morrison, Transphobia, Travis Joins The Sally Face Gang, but the main thing is between todd and travis, def has good salvis content in it tho, tagged as Gen and not M/M because salvis isn't the main focus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-28 10:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20424794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asexuelf/pseuds/asexuelf
Summary: After everything, Travis is still seeking atonement. He wants to make amends. Todd deserves that much, if not more.





	whole

**Author's Note:**

> this is almost a part two two my fic [halvsies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20397409) but this fic can be read separately with nothing lost! :3 i wrote it while listening to my metal playlist, but might i suggest listening to "black angel trumpet" by disemballerina while reading? very orchestral, very relaxing, very dark sounds. you might like it!
> 
> also: in this fic, travis calls sal “angel”, so in return, sal calls him “morning star” (like the angel/devil lucifer). i thought that was cute and edgy in a way that perfectly fit sally face ^w^
> 
> sorry in advance for any errors. hope you enjoy!

As soon as the door clicked closed, Travis began to sweat.

He was always nervous when it was the entire group in Sal's room instead of just the two of them. His heart thumped unevenly every time, even in the calm quiet of the gang “hanging out”. It was so strange, just… _ being _ with people. Existing in tandem. He was an anxious mess even just looking down at the book in his lap or watching the others play video games. It was easier, though, with Sal was beside him on the bed, tucked up to his side, too close and not close enough.

At least, it should have been. But Sal was watching Todd tinker at one of their weird ghost hunting machines and waiting - and Travis knew Sal was waiting - for the right moment. The moment they’d talked about earlier.

“Hey, Ash, Larry,” The two looked up from the large paper they were drawing on together to look at Sal. “Will you two help me carry some stuff down from my apartment?”

“Sure!” Ash jumped up, her braid swinging behind her.

Larry wasn't far behind, following Sal and Ash out the door while wiping the paint on his hands around. Travis was certain it just made more of a mess, but Larry insisted that thinning it out over his skin made the paint dry faster so it wouldn't spread anywhere else. And what did Travis know? He certainly wasn't going to argue with the artist about how art worked.

“Er- Do you want me there too, Sal?” Todd already looked uncomfortable. He sat stiffly, hands restlessly moving across Sal’s modified Gearboy. It made Travis’ stomach churn.

One foot out the door already, Sal turned to face Todd. “No, it's okay. We're just bringing down snacks. Want anything specific?”

“No thanks. Whatever you bring down should be fine.”

“Cool,” Sal turned to Travis then and his voice softened just the smallest amount. “Salami for you, morning star?”

Travis felt his face heat, but nodded. After learning the truth about the… _ bologna incident_, Travis had been devastated to lose his favorite comfort food, but Sal had been quick to help him find new things. Bologna notwithstanding, there was love in Travis’ heart for all cold cuts.

And if salami was his favorite because it happened to have _ sal _ in the name, well, who could blame him for being a little corny now and then?

With Sal gone, the air in the room grew quickly suffocating. The awkwardness between himself and Todd never really went away, even after coming out (to the group, at least) and dating Sal. 

He and Ash were cool now, even good friends - he'd helped her babysit multiple times now and they always had a good time. They’d even gone to see a movie, just the two of them, and that was stored away as one of Travis’ favorite memories.

Larry was just an all-around kind person, so it wasn't long at all before Larry was inviting him over to “paint out some of that aggression, dude” and headbang to surprisingly relaxing devil music. Despite his image as a tough metalhead, he was just as sweet as Sal, and it was easy to see how they’d become such quick friends back when they’d first met.

Travis and Chug hung out sometimes, and of course Maple and even Neil were good company, too. Neil was like a ray of sunshine, impossible not to get along with, and Maple was so calming to spend time with. If Neil was sunshine, Maple was moonlight. Travis never felt like he had to talk too much or about certain things with her. Sometimes they would even just complain and listen to each other. 

Sal's friends were great and quickly became his own. But with Todd… Even when they spent time together, all that hurt hung in the air, an awful guilt along with it. It was starting to grate on Travis’ nerves. He liked Todd - and Todd certainly didn't hate him - but so many things went unsaid that needed to be said. Which was why before hanging out, Travis had asked Sal if he could find a way to get the two alone for a while. Travis wanted to say those things, to apologize, to find a way to make amends.

It was a hard road for Travis, searching for atonement and self-acceptance, and along that road, he had hurt people. He'd focused on Todd most of all. He'd treated Todd like he wasn't even a human being.

He’d treated Todd the way he’d seen himself.

Just thinking about it made his throat thick with guilt, his eyes prickling uncomfortably. Quickly, though, he blinked those tears away, knowing it wouldn’t do anything to make amends to Todd. 

Taking a deep breath to steel himself, Travis turned to Todd and went to open his mouth just in time for Todd himself to stand and say, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

“Wait!”

Todd looked at him like he’d just tossed a baby animal out the window. It was the most Travis had ever seen his face emote when Neil wasn’t around.

“Shit, sorry. I just- I want to talk to you about,” Travis swallowed, hard. Somehow, this was so much harder than he’d thought. “-the way I used to act, towards-”

“It’s fine, Phelps. We’re all friends now, right?” There was a hard edge to his voice, something wavering and bitter, though he was visibly trying to hide it. Travis felt his shoulders slump.

“Well, yes, but-”

“Good. I’ll be in the bathroom.”

Travis let him leave. When Sal and the others returned with food, Todd was still gone, and Travis couldn’t find the will to eat anything.

*

It was raining outside, a gentle rhythm on the windows of Addison Apartments, and Sal's head made a comfortable weight on his chest. Sal's mask was off, his door closed, and his handheld was paused while he bent his head back to look at his boyfriend.

"Are you really still so upset?" Despite the wording, Travis was grateful to hear he didn't sound judgmental. Worried, maybe. _ Sympathetic_, Travis thought, though he was still so unused to compassion that it was sometimes hard to place in a voice.

"Yes," Travis admitted. "I wanted to… to let him know that hurting him hurt me too."

Sal put his game to the side and curled up closer, careful not to press his bare face into the fabric of Travis' shirt. "He knows, man. That's why he gave you a chance to begin with."

"I know, I just-" He sighed, huffing his frustration. "I want things to be okay between us. I want to make amends."

The touch of Sal's hand against his cheek calmed him. "I know, Trav. But, if Todd doesn't want to talk, it might not mean forever. He might just need time until he's ready."

"I'll… keep that in mind." His hands found their way to Sal's back and he rubbed circles there thoughtfully. "Thank you, angel."

"Of course, Travis."

*

The waiting was… hard. He wanted to be a part of all those shared moments with Todd and his friends, wanted to visit Todd's weird hippie parents and spend the night, wanted to ask Todd for help on his science homework, wanted Todd to know _ I'd do anything to undo what I have done. _ But instead, he could only wait, cementing his place with their other friends while Todd quietly accepted it.

It made Travis feel ill. First he punished Todd for existing, and now he was stealing the guy's life, forcing himself into his friend group. For all Sal told him he was growing kinder and healthier by the day, Travis felt like he hadn't changed at all. He was still that mean boy throwing punches and shouting his father’s words into a crowd of people that would be better off without him. Maybe he’d always be that boy. Maybe all of this was meaningless.

Still, he waited. Todd deserved that much. They both did.

*

It was a long month and a half before Todd was willing to speak to him.

It took Travis by surprise. He was with Neil, hanging out as his place and doing homework while their resident Ghostbusters went out and did their thing. They always asked Travis if he wanted to go along, but despite everything, he was still a man of God, so declined vehemently. He wasn’t about to go messing with spirits and demons and whatever else. Kissing boys was one thing, but summoning devils was something else entirely. And anyways, that stuff creeped him out.

And anyways, he didn’t want to intrude on Todd’s time any more than he already did. Which is why he was sitting in Todd’s boyfriend’s house, spending time with his boyfriend…

Travis sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was a lot more complicated than he liked things to be.

Before Neil could ask him what was wrong, the door swung open, revealing Todd.

“Travis,” he said. “I’d like to speak to you.”

Travis blinked up at him. “Me?”

“That’s correct. We can talk in the garden.”

“Oh, sure!” Neil stood quickly, the ever-present smile on his face growing a little wavy. “I’ll show you two to the back door.”

He did so, leading his friend and boyfriend down the stairs and through his living room. They all waved politely at his mother, who sat in an armchair drinking a glass of wine and reading what looked like a crime novel. Her eyes were tired, but happy. Like Neil, there was something almost picturesque about her, like she existed in a movie. Travis liked her.

They kept following Neil through the dining room, a wide-open room that was mostly window, and to the room adjacent, which looked to be the laundry room. It wasn’t much bigger than a closet, but there was another door beside it, which lead out into the garden.

Now that they were at the back door, Neil leaned against the washing machine and smiled. “Remember to be careful with Momma’s marigolds!”

Todd leaned up to kiss him. “Of course.”

Too nervous to speak, Travis just nodded.

And then Todd was leading him outside to sit on a white-painted bench, side by side. They had enough space between them so that their legs weren’t touching, but only that much. The season’s rain was still soaking into the earth, and the combination of dewy flowers and petrichor scent made the whole scenario feel somewhat ethereal.

“What did you want to tell me?” Travis asked, managing to keep the break between _ want _ and _ to _ brief. He could only hope he didn’t sound rude or cruel.

Todd looked at him through his coke-bottle glasses, eyes wider than Travis had seen them before, staring right into his very soul, and sighed. “I’ve been unfair to you.”

Something in the bench settled at the same moment that Travis startled. “Um. What?”

“You’ve been through shit.” Hearing Todd curse made Travis’ eyes go wide. “I’m one of those rare lucky souls that have parents that celebrate _ free love_. When I told them I wasn’t their daughter, they accepted me as their son. When I told them I was not only a man, but a gay man, they accepted Neil, too.”

“That only makes what I’ve done worse.”

Todd shook his head.

“Yes,” Travis insisted. “It does. I saw your happiness and I punished you for it. You had everything and even just by a margin, I took that from you. I became for you what my father was to me-” He choked, unable to say more.

“Well, you weren’t the first person to be transphobic or homophobic to me. That’s… an illogical leap, to say the least.” Todd laughed. “You really think you did such a number on me, Travis? You were just some guy in the hallway. I haven’t been avoiding you because you hurt me, I’ve been avoiding you because I’ve been waiting for you to hurt me.”

Travis blinked. Then he whispered, “Oh.”

“There isn’t much good in being paranoid. I know that. Especially since Sal seems to love you so much.” Heat rushed to Travis’ face and he looked away. He wished it was only bashfulness and not shame. Oh, how he wished. “I like to paint myself as the stark intellectual, but even I get scared. And for a while there, I was afraid you were going to hurt me or my boyfriend or my friends.”

“I wouldn’t.”

“I know that now.” Todd fiddled with his watch, then sat up straighter and sighed again. “You and I… shouldn’t be fighting. We should be friends.” He stared at Travis’ shoes, the green of them unnatural against the earthy tones of the garden. “I’ve been asking Neil to be friendly to you, to support you. I know you two talk queer stuff, but I wanted you to know that you can talk to me about it too now. I can see you’re trying to change.”

Todd leaned back against the bench, slumping, and they looked at the surrounding flowers together. Sensing he wasn’t finished, Travis remained quiet, focusing on the little white blooms and bright yellow bulbs surrounding them.

“I know it doesn’t make much sense, considering you’re only a year younger than me,” Todd turned towards him then and Travis hesitantly met his eyes. “But I feel kind of responsible for you. You’re both in this together, whether we like it or not, and I’ve got - uh - let’s say more experience under the belt. I can be to you what my parents were to me, but I’ve been neglecting that responsibility. So, what I really wanted to tell you today was… I’m sorry. And I forgive you.”

Even though he wanted to hide how wet his eyes had grown, how wobbly his lip became, Travis didn’t look away from Todd. They looked at each other like that for a handful of seconds that seemed to catch in the air, buoyant and strange, and then they looked away.

“Thanks, Todd.” He stood, just to face Todd more readily. “You guys are too fucking nice for me.”

Todd grinned. “You’ve been pretty nice recently, too. It’s a nice change. It suits you better.”

Travis wasn’t sure about that, but he smiled back anyways. He offered Todd a hand up and they walked together back into the house. When Neil saw them both smiling, his face lit up like a glowing star.

Travis couldn’t wait to tell Sal.

**Author's Note:**

> todd's voice was suuuper hard to write, but hopefully it's in-character enough (or at least makes sense for what we've seen)... i also didnt expect todd to be the one to apologize while writing it, but it got a bit away from me -_-; it seemed exactly like the kind of sweethearted nonsense you'd see from someone in sally's gang (and tbh i'd do the same in his shoes)
> 
> but hey - thank you for reading! :D


End file.
